Tag Archives: cnn

5 Ways to Spot an NPC in Real Life

The NPC meme is spreading faster than the red flush of anger on a triggered liberal’s face. Twitter is swimming with NPC accounts spouting #greylivesmatter and #orangemanbad. Memes about the left are bountiful as their figureheads like Hilary fail to stand strong, and their mouthpieces like CNN and MSNBC crumble under the weight of public and political scrutiny. It comes as a reaction to growing factions of the American population waking up from the lies and deceit, the whitewashing and polemics, and the vitriol extolled as virtue in American politics.

The power of truth, nation and freedom are pushing through like new flowers after the snow. A conservative renaissance grows here, and NPCs will do anything to stop you from realising they’re losing the battle. The reason they hate the meme, calling it ‘dehumanising’, is fuelled by the same astounding lack of self-reflection that got them into this mess. The dehumanising has already been done, and the people who created the meme didn’t do it. Nevertheless, you’re waking up from liberalism. Ok, great! Want to know how to spot the machine in the man? Here’s five things you can look for to spot an NPC in real life.

1. They’re probably a student or an academic.

Not always the case, obviously, and their are more young people than ever waking up from the nightmare that is left-wing totalitarianism and group-think. However, there’s a sizeable number of young, impressionable and vacuous people out there, filled with with the residual fire of pubescence and a virtuous, if misplaced desire to change the world. Students are even moreso at risk of catching NPC-syndrome as they look up to their liberal professors for political guidance.

2. They REALLY hate the NPC meme.

Seriously, it turns them into slavering, rabid beasts, raging against the meme machine. Irony being they are the machine and no attempt at <compute= [show emotion . {Rage}]> is going to pull the wool over our eyes.

3. They are anti-Trump and they tell you ALL THE TIME.

‘TRUMP’S A RACIST’ is almost like a salutation for these people. ‘Hi Bernie, how are you?’, ‘TRUMP’S A RACIST’. Linda, what did you do at the weekend?’, ‘TRUMP’S A RACIST’. ‘What do you think about that new show on Netfl….’, ‘RACIIIIIIIST!’. I heard you loud and clear. I don’t agree with you, but my ears are doing cartwheels and may never recover.

4. They love stealing pro-republican signs.

This is their FAVOURITE thing to do. Like the crumpled creature Gollum in his pursuit of the one ring of power, these withered hobbits simply lust after republican cardboard signs with a vitality that is not reflected in their pallid, papery complexions. You’ve seen them tearing apart sign after sign, posting them through letter boxes and garbage containers, and running off into the night howling with triumphant satisfaction as they go. Newsflash, posting cardboard signs into the garbage, is bad for the environment. Posting it to the postman is just making his life more difficult. Anti-environment and anti-working person, very socialist, very virtuous.

5. In arguments, you’re always the ‘stupid’ one.

If you’ve argued with as many left-wing lexophobes online as I have, you’ll know that you’re winning when you’re blasted with the robotic, restricted repertoire of preset insults like: ‘stupid’, ‘loser’, ‘low IQ’, ‘racist’, ‘sexist’, ‘bigot’ etc. Take it as a general rule that, if you’re getting at least one of these per response, they’ve got nothing, and are running on pure hatred, not the power of higher-thinking. Generally speaking, NPCs can only identify threats to their communal identity, as in any divergent idea from their homogeneous mess, by responding with buzzwords designed to alert other NPCs to the source of ‘malfunction’ in the matrix, you.